Should I Be Offended?

So, every once in a while I like to go through my Junk Email folders and make sure nothing slipped through the cracks that shouldn’t have, and also to chuckle at the various schemes, scams, and offers. Yes, I would love one million dollars from the government. How about instead though, you give me your bank account information, and I’ll take it from there myself. And I would love a Russian bride, except perhaps not a young and sexy one, I’d rather have an older and perhaps slightly unattractive wife to take care of me. I’m pretty sure if I got a young sexy one we’d wind up pulling each other’s hair. Although good luck pulling mine, witch, because I cut most of it off. I’m going to win this one for sure. Anyways. Ahem. Yes, moving on. I couldn’t help but notice a trend in my junk mail lately, mixed in among the promises of wealth, women, and large *cough* body parts.

”Big and Beautiful Dating Site.” Well, that’s nice.
”Shop Plus Size Fast! Clothing for the Reubenesque.” Uhuh…
”Find Bras for Any Size… Even the Curvy Woman!”… “Guidelines for Diabetes”
Hey now, spambots. I’m starting to pick up a vibe, here, and I’ll have you know… I weigh the same as I did when I got married. FYI. Two kids later. And yes, okay, I am definitely fluffier, with my empty-baby-house-tummy. But, seriously. I will fight you.

It has been super nice weather-wise around these parts lately. There are still piles of dirty snow everywhere, but we’re kind of ignoring those. Olivia got her first swing experience the other day! First she just dangled there, looking at the ground.

I called her and called her, until finally she looked up and gave me a goobie smile. (No, that is not a typo. Nor is it a real word. Just the one I use to describe this particular smile.)

Soon the Tongue Of Approval came out, which is Olivia’s personal stamp of favour.

Nicole, of course, has loved swings for ages, and even talked her Papa into putting her backyard swing back up this weekend, even though the grass isn’t dry so she will definitely kill it dead by swinging right now. Ah, the love of a father for his daughter. It exceeds even that of the love of a man for his lawn.

By the end we even convinced Olivia to take her arms out, and she got really excited and started kicking her legs. Both my girls laugh like they are hyperventilating when they’re really excited over something like a swing. My galpal that I was with couldn’t help but laugh at Nicole, who at three still sounds like an excited baby when she gets to swinging.

My goofy baby. I heart her.

Now, to jump topics again, in my usual ‘rubber ball in a bouncy house’ fashion, pictures of my hair!  You’ve probably seen these if you’re a fan on facebook, but here’s some crummy attempts at taking a picture of my new haircut. I went with the “Victoria Beckham,” as per the unanimous suggestions of everyone. It’s very fun, and very easy to get myself ready quickly and still feel slick. I’m so glad I did it. And my hair is so so so so shooooort in the back. I love it! My husband hates my blonde chunk more than ever now that it’s showing all the time. I was afraid it would look terrible but I kindof enjoy it. He says I have skunkbutt on my head.

Try not to be too jealous of the blinds that you can barely make out back there. Yes, they are the original blinds from the …seventies? in a loverly shade of ‘strange peach’… and yes, you may have them. Sadly, our bedroom apparently will be the last room we get around to decorating. Boo hoo. Right now the ‘office’ is in here as well so really… the room is a writeoff.

Yup, it’s nearly impossible to take self portraits with manual focus. Yet I am still too lazy to switch the lenses back. Also, I love this lens a lot more than the other. I need to just buy a new lens. I will. Once I earn some monies from my shop, which I am hoping to open now on Wednesday. I pumped out a bunch of sewing this weekend, despite / to distract me from a massive nasty toothache. None of it was for you, though. Two pairs of pants for Nicole, three pairs of leggies for Olivia, and then today a dress for me and a shirt for Olivia. But actually, the leggies for Olivia I plan to photograph nicely and see if people want me to make the exact ones to sell, because if yes I shall head back to Costco and stock up on supplies. I can actually make 4 neutral/boy sets and 2 definitely-girl sets from each pack of antimicrobial socks I buy to make the leggings. Except in this case I made three sets for Olivia (pinks and greys) and the other three pairs went to my feet.