Should I Be Offended?

So, every once in a while I like to go through my Junk Email folders and make sure nothing slipped through the cracks that shouldn’t have, and also to chuckle at the various schemes, scams, and offers. Yes, I would love one million dollars from the government. How about instead though, you give me your bank account information, and I’ll take it from there myself. And I would love a Russian bride, except perhaps not a young and sexy one, I’d rather have an older and perhaps slightly unattractive wife to take care of me. I’m pretty sure if I got a young sexy one we’d wind up pulling each other’s hair. Although good luck pulling mine, witch, because I cut most of it off. I’m going to win this one for sure. Anyways. Ahem. Yes, moving on. I couldn’t help but notice a trend in my junk mail lately, mixed in among the promises of wealth, women, and large *cough* body parts.

”Big and Beautiful Dating Site.” Well, that’s nice.
”Shop Plus Size Fast! Clothing for the Reubenesque.” Uhuh…
”Find Bras for Any Size… Even the Curvy Woman!”… “Guidelines for Diabetes”
Hey now, spambots. I’m starting to pick up a vibe, here, and I’ll have you know… I weigh the same as I did when I got married. FYI. Two kids later. And yes, okay, I am definitely fluffier, with my empty-baby-house-tummy. But, seriously. I will fight you.

It has been super nice weather-wise around these parts lately. There are still piles of dirty snow everywhere, but we’re kind of ignoring those. Olivia got her first swing experience the other day! First she just dangled there, looking at the ground.

I called her and called her, until finally she looked up and gave me a goobie smile. (No, that is not a typo. Nor is it a real word. Just the one I use to describe this particular smile.)

Soon the Tongue Of Approval came out, which is Olivia’s personal stamp of favour.

Nicole, of course, has loved swings for ages, and even talked her Papa into putting her backyard swing back up this weekend, even though the grass isn’t dry so she will definitely kill it dead by swinging right now. Ah, the love of a father for his daughter. It exceeds even that of the love of a man for his lawn.

By the end we even convinced Olivia to take her arms out, and she got really excited and started kicking her legs. Both my girls laugh like they are hyperventilating when they’re really excited over something like a swing. My galpal that I was with couldn’t help but laugh at Nicole, who at three still sounds like an excited baby when she gets to swinging.

My goofy baby. I heart her.

Now, to jump topics again, in my usual ‘rubber ball in a bouncy house’ fashion, pictures of my hair!  You’ve probably seen these if you’re a fan on facebook, but here’s some crummy attempts at taking a picture of my new haircut. I went with the “Victoria Beckham,” as per the unanimous suggestions of everyone. It’s very fun, and very easy to get myself ready quickly and still feel slick. I’m so glad I did it. And my hair is so so so so shooooort in the back. I love it! My husband hates my blonde chunk more than ever now that it’s showing all the time. I was afraid it would look terrible but I kindof enjoy it. He says I have skunkbutt on my head.

Try not to be too jealous of the blinds that you can barely make out back there. Yes, they are the original blinds from the …seventies? in a loverly shade of ‘strange peach’… and yes, you may have them. Sadly, our bedroom apparently will be the last room we get around to decorating. Boo hoo. Right now the ‘office’ is in here as well so really… the room is a writeoff.

Yup, it’s nearly impossible to take self portraits with manual focus. Yet I am still too lazy to switch the lenses back. Also, I love this lens a lot more than the other. I need to just buy a new lens. I will. Once I earn some monies from my shop, which I am hoping to open now on Wednesday. I pumped out a bunch of sewing this weekend, despite / to distract me from a massive nasty toothache. None of it was for you, though. Two pairs of pants for Nicole, three pairs of leggies for Olivia, and then today a dress for me and a shirt for Olivia. But actually, the leggies for Olivia I plan to photograph nicely and see if people want me to make the exact ones to sell, because if yes I shall head back to Costco and stock up on supplies. I can actually make 4 neutral/boy sets and 2 definitely-girl sets from each pack of antimicrobial socks I buy to make the leggings. Except in this case I made three sets for Olivia (pinks and greys) and the other three pairs went to my feet.

Before I Hack My Own Hair Off

Listen… it’s happened before. At the time I was so deluded that I was quite pleased with myself, but looking back at pictures, I cringe. So I’m trying to resist.

My hair is driving my mad. It hasn’t been cut since October, which wasn’t really bothering me much because I wanted to grow it nice and long for summer. I’m pretty decently on my way. However, I neglected to think about one critical thing… POSTPARTUM HAIR LOSS!

^ which is how I feel about that.

It’s not the hair loss part, in per se. I have approximately one BEEEELLION ultra fine hairs, which always blows new hairdressers away as I take about twice as long for a haircut as they expect me to, with my sad limpy locks. So, so many hairs. So you don’t notice my hair thinning out, in per se. What you DO notice, however, is that I shed like a bleepity bleep bleep Persian Cat. You can easily pull out gobs of hair. I shouldn’t be allowed on the furniture, and if I wear my hair down my tops are just COVERED in hair like EW GROSS YUCK within an hour or two. But worst of all… oohhh, the worsty worst of all… when a hair falls down the front of your shirt and hides somewhere in your bra. SOMEWHERE. And it feels like it could be either a hair or a bug, but if you let your guard down and assume hair you just know it will definitely be a bug. 

Anyways. Now that you possibly understand why I’m wearing my hair in braids and buns and trying to refrain from giving myself a buzz cut (I wonder if Britney Spears was having postpartum shedding when she did that. How old were her kids? I totally take back thinking she was crazy. Hand me an umbrella, Britney, I’m with ya.) I would like some feedbacks for what I should do. You would think a hairdresser would be like ‘fun yay’ if I came in and was like “just cut it off. I don’t care. Make me look good.” But no, not so much. They want me to know what I want. So… What do you think? (following pictures are all from here.)

a- supershort. I’m not sure I could pull this off. But I’m tickled pink at the idea of my falling out hairs being that small instead of being super long.

b- kinda funky. I don’t necessarily have time to do this every day so mine would hang a lot limper most of the time. Not sure that would be as cool.

 

c – I like styles like this because the illusion of longer hair is there, but it’s actually a pretty short cut. I’ve had similar to this before. I am paranoid about she-mullets though so I always like to make sure it’s a bit shorter in back than front.

d – something like this, but with the hair a little more out of the face. Like a reverse mullet… party in the front, business in the back. Because that’s how I roll.

 

e – Just kidding. I’m pretty sure my middle two brothers would both be full of glee but I would be a hobo because my hubby would lock me out until I removed the manliness from my hair. Actually, I don’t think he even likes this look on men. If I ever do get wild enough to do this I’d shove some pink in there, while I was being awesome/a lunatic. Would have to take out a life insurance policy on my dad first because he’d keel over.

I guess this is basically what I was talking about two above, basically an extremely angled bob. I’ve had bobs before and they’re pretty good on me.

So, what do you think? Any other suggestions?

A quick peek

Here’s a quick peek from this weekend… starting with my little meatball. This is the change table I reviewed for CSN Stores, by the way. I love it. Olivia loves it, too. She just stares at the bars happily whenever I put her here. If I need to put her down for a sec to go to the washroom or something when she’s crabby, I put her here. Keeps her happy.  Another thing that keeps her happy is her minkee lovie. A friend of mine makes them and gave me a great deal. Santa Olivia! My mom bought this dress for Nicole but Nicole outgrew it by mid November (she was a July baby and it is 3/6 mos… Nicole was a little chubster too, but not quite as much as my little meatball.) Me and my girls. Okay, the smallest one is a loaner. Believe it or not, she is only 8 days younger than Olivia! My sister in law was due at the end of December but her water broke a month and a half early, plus Olivia was born 11 days past her due date, so they wound up super close together. Cute though, little girl cousins and they’ll be in the same class! Note that I am not wearing a headband here. Yaay! No headband. Oh, I guess I should admit I gave up on being shampoo-free. I went beserk a few days ago and declared it OVER. I attacked my hair with shampoo and then slathered on the conditioner. No more greasy-looking static hair!

Speaking of going beserk… okay, where I am it is –20 C …ish. Depending on the day. It’s a dry cold, and the furnace makes it a dry warm, too. I WANT TO TEAR OUT MY FINGERNAILS AND MY HAIR AND GNAW OFF MY HANDS. I get this every year. And then I pull out the humidifier and continue slathering on obscene amounts of lotion. I don’t know if I’m the only one who gets this crazy over it or what, everyone else kindof gives me the crazyface when I bring it up. But I literally cannot stand to fold laundry or put on clothes or change diapers or anything that involves touching fabric when I’m this dry. I don’t even have my vents on in the car, I feel like I can literally feel the heat sucking the moisture out of me.

Does anyone else have any Wow-Crazy-Lady things? I have the dryness thing and I also go insane over certain textures of fabric. I won’t go anywhere near a damask-y looking couch, I just know the feel of the fabric will give me shivers up and down my spine. Like nails on a chalkboard.

Oh! Guess what! Stay tuned… sometime this week, I’m going to jump on the scale and share the results. Time to start getting fit again!

Peas, refashioning, and models

First of all… Happy Canada Day! I aim to do absolutely no work moving into my new craftroom today. Unless I really, really want to.

We’re so pleased with our peas! For nearly a week now Nicole and I have been eating fresh young pea pods off the vine. Nicole cautiously tasted the first one I gave her…       …and then she loved it so much she asked if she could have them as a snack to go with a movie! Uh… yes? “Mommy, can you go pick me some peas?” is almost never turned down (unless there’s none big enough to eat.) She thinks she is getting snacks whenever she wants them. I think, “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA VEGATABLES!” This cute little skirt she’s wearing, by the way, is a refashion of a floor length size 8 or so skirt. The fabric looks almost like burlap with painted roses, and I knew I needed it to make Nicole something with. The pattern of the skirt was I believe from Ottobre Winter 09…?? I could be wrong though. Anyways, I made one and it was too big for her. Then I made another and it was too small, so I gave up. She’s grown into the first one now though! She loves to wear clothes that mommy made. It’s very sweet. I just gave her a small stack of size four skirts to have… Skirts, I find, she has enough width that the size 4 stays on, so there’s a long wearability. Pants in that size are far too long. She’s been requesting that I do her hair lately! It charms me. This little updo is very simple and easy, I can do it on myself in five minutes without a mirror. For serious. I don’t do the spikey sprays of hair when I do it on myself, mind you. Or the giant multicolored corker clip. The above picture and the next two are what I got when I told her to be a model. Hehehe. She still does not have a modelling career in her future… The above one isn’t too bad but you gotta love the almost painful expression on her face in this last one. Perhaps because this pose is so very awkward to do? She gives me the giggles.

snippets

Just a few snippets, since I’ve been so bad for not blogging this week… tired, then sick, then hey, while we’re at it, I should probably rip off all the trim so hubby and I can repaint the entire main living area.Today I had a to-do list, and making hairclips was not on it. Procrastination is the mother of creativity, right? Or something like that? hehe. This bear is what Nicole and her cousin Cohen carried down the aisle at my BIL&SIL’s wedding last weekend, and Nicole is in love with it. So I put a matching clippie in Bear’s hair, too. DEEEEElighted! These are super simple, I’ve seen them all over the net, but I don’t remember where, so if you would like I can do a how-to. Just say the word. A lady should never pry. Unless she’s got the right tools, that is. This little hammer is actually a scrapbooking tool, it’s got holepunch and stuff in the handle, and my hubby made fun of it when I first brought it home. But we use it for almost every single task in the house! It’s small enough that it’s not a nuisance to have hanging around, and it works just fine! I never thought I’d care about a ceiling paint but this stuff diffuses the light soooo nicely. Dorkstick, that’s what I am. Anyways, Chris painted the ceiling last night, my house is a huge kerfluffle but it will all be worth it! This was apparently a neccessary photo. As was the one of me, covered in paint (“accidents” from Chris’ rollerbrush) cleaning spots off the floor from ‘somebody’s’ shoe. As in, Chris goes, “Somebody tracked paint all over the floor. I’m not sure who, so I won’t point fingers or name names.” Hmmm… that smells suspiciously like he might have been to blame….

blizzards and panic attacks and haircuts, oh my!

I cut Nicole's hair myself today. It was a blizzard - did I not mention that earlier? We had a blizzard. True story. Anyways, Chris and I took her to the rather empty mall and we were going to get her hair cut. Well, she took one look at those hairdressing chairs and decided no way. Panic attack.

  (before picture, from earlier this month)

So we took her to a toy store and said she could pick a present, and she picked a giant ball. Then I told her she could have it if she would first get her hair cut.

 

Well, wouldn't you know it, she put that ball right back in the bin and that was that. Not interested. Neither ball nor babydoll nor My Little Pony could bribe this child to agree to go back to the hairdresser.

So I cut it myself at home. I’m not 100% happy with it, but at least now when I see a picture of her with her hair down I won’t cringe. It looks a little thicker now, and less ratty. I might see if I can get a hairdresser friend to come and polish it up a little, or I might just make her bangs more blunt so they don't slowly blend into the rest of her hair.

Regardless, it is better now than before, and for free, and I have a newfound respect for my two year old and her unshakeable standards. This one cannot be bought. Unless it involves potty training, then she can be bought... She got bored of peeing on the toilet and had accidents galore. (And by galore I mean, accidents only, no peeing on the toilet, only number 2. There is even a story in here that involves a friend inquiring about my sinkful of soaking oranges only to discover they were being washed because Nicole had PEED ON THE WHOLE BOX OF ORANGES.) So, we implemented a sticker chart with rewards when she fills a column, and tadaa, magically she remembered how to go on the toilet. Psychological warfare it is, with this one. Problem is, I think she might be winning.

My first how-to video – twist braid

A quick video demo of the 2-strand twist. Be gentle with me. LOL. Also please pretend you can’t see the open dishwasher and cupboard. Or the gnarliness of my hair! haha. sweeeeet.

Don’t forget to check out and enter the giveaway for the Leapfrog toy before January 20!

The Finer Things In Life

When you say it like that, it sounds so nice. In reality, though, I’m talking about something slightly less pleasant – Nicole’s hair. Not that it’s not nice hair. It doesn’t bully other hair, or talk out of turn, or even give sass.  It does, however, fluff up with static like you wouldn’t believe. It also releases the most determined of curls within the hour. The other day I did a pretty half-pony and curled the rest of her head oh-so-nicely. So, an hour later when we went out, she had strange, dishevelled hair that barely hinted of curl. (see previous post to see the strange fluff that her curls ended up as… LOL) Lately I’ve been finding myself inspired by A Princess And Her Hair and Babes In Hairland … but then when it comes to actually doing the hairstyles, while Nicole does have some decent length, there is no real bulk to her hair. If I do two buns they are literally smaller than your average walnut, despite having hair that brushes her shoulder. This twisted ‘braid' headband, however, worked out just perfectly!It was a little tricky to do because I was working with tiny little chunks of hair, but for whatever reason she sat quite agreeably while I twisted from one ear across to the other and then down under the bulk of her hair (using the term bulk very loosely, here) to be secured with a little pony. The headband stayed in until around suppertime, and would have stayed longer except she kept showing people, and whenever she did she of course had to grab at it. It held her hair out of her face as well as an actual headband would have, too. (Well, better, because a headband would have been pulled out or fallen out pretty much immediatly) It probably took about five minutes tops to do the actual twist band after I’d combed out and parted her hair.

So, I totally recommend this for a quick and cute little ‘do if you have a fine-haired missy like mine! if your little bitty doesn’t have bangs you of course just do it in the front of the hair. I’m sure those sites probably explain somewhere how to do this twist, it’s very basic, but if anyone wants a quick little how-to video I’d be happy to oblige. This also works great for adults… if I feel annoyed with my bangs I do this twist ‘braid’ using my bangs and a bit of hair. Here, I’ll show instead of tell:

Okay, I lied, I don’t have a picture of what I’m talking about, but this is close. This is an actual french braid, turning into a braid. If I am twisting, once I get past my forehead I do an X with bobby pins and then let my hair fall over it.

(If you know how to french braid, you can twist. It’s basically using 2 strands of hair instead of three, and only grabbing hair from one side. So you grab hair from the front to add to strand 1, twist around strand 2, grab hair from the front to add to strand 2, twist around strand one, cont’d. Make sense?) 

If you’re interested in more tips on dealing with fine hair, let me know. Nicole got it from me, I’ve been dealing with it all my life, and I’ve gotten to a point where I’m dealing with static less than most of my friends right now. My hair is disgustingly healthy, too.

Splitting Hairs

Yesterday morning, my darling daughter awoke with her usual glorious head of bed-head.

This prompted me to decide that although I was quite fond of the babycurls, the fact that they were starting to get much worse for wear meant it was time they headed off to greener pastures (aka into a ziploc baggie.) I'd been getting sick of her haircut for some time now actually, only really feeling happy with it when it was in pigtails or a ponytail. The wild flickies didn't really do her any good.

Here they are all combed out and ready to go. In case you are wondering how to cut a toddler's hair at home, here is a simple Ten-Step Program:

1) sit toddler down in booster seat.

2) turn booster seat towards tv in livingroom and turn tv to Disney Playhouse

3) fight with toddler for a moment, trying to keep them in thier booster seat when they want to go sit in thier TV Watching Chair.

4) turn off the tv and turn the booster seat back towards the table. Time for plan B.

5) open a bag of gummies in front of the toddler and start cutting hair.

6) start cutting hair, pointing scissors upward and going little snippies to avoid that blunt 'Did your mommy cut your hair?' edge.

7) get frustrated when toddler finishes gummies in 3.5 seconds and wants to watch what you're doing.

8) get toddlers toothbrush and some jam, pb, honey, anything to dab a smidgen onto that toothbrush in a very un oral-care manner to keep the toddler fixated on gnawing on that toothbrush.

9) continue snipping toddler's hair in the fashion mentioned in point 6. Try to keep the front a little longer than the back, to keep things as un-mullety as possible. Feel free to stop if you're not sure if you like it, let the toddler run free, and get back to it later when you decide what it is you don't like about it.

10) Finished! Dust off your toddler, declare her PRETTY! and show her in the mirror!

It doesn't really look like a lot of hair on the floor... because really, it isn't. It's at most an inch off of a tiny little head of hair.

Finished! I did snip a bit here and a bit there later on. when doing DIY hair I like to leave it be a bit, and keep it as low-maintenance as possible. I cut her hair based on the way it falls around her head, a little bit at a time, making the cut follow the hair, not the hair follow a style.



Now her babycurls are all gone! Sniffle. She looks much older now, in my opinion.

On a sidenote, if you manage to get a toddler to sit still for a haircut, odds are not in favour that she will also sit still for pictures afterwards.

Later on, we ran to Safeway and picked up a handful of tulips to put in my fav vase. Normally I am all about yellow tulips (in the house, I'm not huge on the yellows in my garden, but in my house they MUST be yellow) but I let The Princess pick, and to my (lack of) astonishment, she picked pink ones. Which is fine, because she was incredibly delighted to pick flowers to take home, and finds 'her' flowers quite delightful.

The tulips stare accusingly at the scissors, silent but judgemental, while the crossstitching tries in vain to inject some humour into this awkward social gathering.

I'm not the most amazing floral arranger ever. But I recommend, if you are lacking in the floral arranging skills department, that you pick up a vase with this shape. 'all in a row' is pretty easy to handle. (Do pretend not to notice that my big stalks of greenery are the bottoms of the tulips after i cut them up, or that the right side is drooping. I did make it stop drooping, just not until after the photo. And if you're wondering, the cross stitching says 'I don't quite know how to tell you this, but I'm kind of a Big Deal' and is a gift for a friend)