Bear part deux

So, Chris and I were having a conversation about the bear. It went something like this.

So, by the way, did I ever tell you how much that bear mount is going to cost?

Um, no. I didn’t really ask, I wanted to first wrap my head around voluntarily having a dead bear in the house before I had to deal with how much we were going to actually have to pay for that to happen. How much?

Well, I’ll probably break it up into a few payments.

Shit. How much?

Did you do something different with your hair today?

I straightened it. How much?

It looks good.

Stop trying to change the topic. How much????

Normally he charges (really really obscene amount) so I got a really great deal.

…. HOW MUCH?!

(less obscene amount but still a million times more than i’d want to pay for a dead bear in the house, considering you normally couldn’t pay me. The things you do for love.) Normally he charges that much for a rug.
I had cut and skinned it and rolled it up to bring it to him for that, but …. what?

I think I just threw up in the back of my mouth a little bit.

Oh, sorry about that. Anyways, since we got to talking and found out we were related, he gave me the choice to have the rug or the mount for the price of the rug!hu

Lovely.

Did I tell you how we’re related?

Yeah, through me. The universe thinks it’s really funny, let me tell you.

(both quiet for a minute)

You know… I thought you’d be a little happier for me over this bear thing.

Oh, I am. I couldn’t be happier for you. I’m just not really happy for me.

(long laugh) Okay, fair enough. Well said, well said.

So……… I never did get a birthday present.

What?! Yes you… …. ……… shit. Uhhhh… hey, so…guess what I got you….

If you say bear, I’ll give you three guesses what I’m going to do to you with that rifle.