Confession

I have a confession to make about this photograph. You see how she’s studying that silk scarf there? She’s trying to figure out how to turn it into a shirt. Apparently she was cold. Even though it was 25 degrees or more out there. Borderline tropical.

Little monkey. She’d run around naked in the freezing cold if I would ignore it. My neighbours are probably sick to death of hearing me holler, “Get back in this house until you put some pants on! No panties in the backyard!”

But, you know. This was mommy’s idea. Soooo, no.

Also, every time she sees this picture she says she’s naked. Sometimes I can’t remember why I taught her how to talk.

The other day she was chatting with Chris and I and he was asking about the whole ‘mommy has a baby in her tummy’ thing, and she said yup, there’s a baby in mommy’s tummy, it’s big, see? And then she goes on to say there’s a baby in her tummy, too. And then she says, “There’s LOTS of babies in Papa’s tummy!” I nearly choked to death. I think I’ll keep her. She might be a little sassypants but she cracks me up.

zip zip zip

Okay so today is hectic and a wee bit crazy. I sliced my finger and used a condom pocket as a bandaid. I swept and mopped my entire first floor in a move-the-furniture kind of way, so count on another Norwex rave soon because I did not realize that my life was incomplete without that mop.

I am in an exceptionally good mood because between my floor and the fact that I took my new Norwex window cloth to EVERY REFLECTIVE SURFACE WITHIN SIGHT, from windows to microwave to oven front to laptop to door handles to sink, my house is SHINY AND BRIGHT. It is just amazing how much brighter your house is when it’s clean and shiny. And how much better you feel. Maybe that’s the post-workout buzz from scrubbing everything.

Okay so I was not going to rave right now but I just have to put it out there, my house is shinier and cleaner looking with just Norwex stuff and water then it normally gets with el-cheapo generic microfibre cloths and cleaning products. JUUUUST SAYING. Also, Mickey Mouse helped me clean my floors. If by Mickey Mouse you mean a Mickey Mouse stuffie whose arms are being wrapped around my mop when I’m trying to clean. Not super helpful but funny so I let her ‘help’ until she got bored and wandered off.

I’ve also been sewing and that sort of thing. Nothing new in the shop yet but if you want to see some finished custom orders or the sneak peeks, those can be seen on the tw*nkletw*nkle fan page. If you look over to the left sidebar there’s a nifty little widget that will take you there. That way I won’t spam you up with photos of items for sale unless you’re wanting it, because I am  a pretty lazy considerate person.

Now if you excuse me I’m going to go break into song about I WANNA TAAAAKE YOU THERE and bake some cupcakes. Don’t think you could get away without me forcing pictures on you. You’re in for a treat. We’re talking a dramatic photo montage. Otherwise known as my way of entertaining myself while playing Little Peoples with Nicole.

ENJOY. Except this is a serious and dramatic story told in photos so maybe try to feel adequately subdued.

 

In other news, if some Norwex executive is out there googling Norwex and happens to find me, YOU’RE WELCOME. Send flowers. (Flowers is french for cash, for the record.)

Save the drama for your mama

No. No, don’t save the drama for your mama. DOES NOT WANT.

So, yesterday morning my precious, PRECIOUS child woke up at 6am. So okay, she was a little cranky by 8am, I think. There was a moment during breakfast which was definitely not a high point for her where she tried to dash her bowl off the table in a fit of rage. My catlike reflexes, while not completely preventing my floor from getting a coating of milk and Fruit Loops, did manage to prevent my bowl from shattering. 

(the people that have played volleyball with me, or any sport at all for that matter, are laughing at the idea of me having catlike reflexes right now. Yuck it up, ladies, and lets move on.)

So, I sent her to her room. Well. WELL. The nerve. Let me tell you.

First, she spent a good five, ten minutes wailing about how she wanted her papa. Because mama is a villain, doncha know. THEN she came out of her room and stood beside me, kind of sniffle-whimpering. “Are you going to be good now?” I challenged. “NO. I’m looking for my papa!” The girl is nothing if but honest. Back to her room.

Eventually she apologized and was allowed out of her room. (Fairly certain that apology was hunger-driven.) She ended the drama with a flourish by taking a picture of Chris off the fridge and wandering around the house with it mournfully. Let’s not forget, she also managed to wind up talking to him on the phone and wailed unintelligibly at him. (For the most part. “Mama’s MEAN!” was definitely in there a few times.)

Suffice it to say my two year old is a wee bit melodramatic. My friends were quick to crack jokes about that, pondering where she could have gotten that trait from. Something about me promising to stab my husband in the face if the blizzard kept up and continued to prevent him from going to work. But listen, I will lock you up with your husband unexpectedly on a Monday when he’s got nothing to do and is bored and follows you around poking you and hugging you and asking what you’re doing and what’s for supper and can we have creamy chicken soup instead even though you’re five seconds away from putting dinner on the table? But listen, the blizzard ended and he went back to work. The end. Oh and he raved about what I did make for dinner when he stopped trying to make me stab him long enough to put it in his mouth. So, we’re still happily married, nobody is dead, and when Chris got home Nicole flung her arms around his leg and then spent the evening talking his ear off.

the mermaid’s song

Nicole found a mermaid toy in her bucket and broke into song. Ahhh, this brings back memories... memories of myself singing the 'ah ah ah' "song" from The Little Mermaid. I distinctly remember my kindergarten classmates asking me to stop singing it all the time... and I also distinctly recall thinking they were just jealous they couldn't sing as well as me. haha.

 

How 2-yr-olds can make you feel insecure

Asks my daughter, with concern in her voice,

 

“What happened to your boobies, mommy? What happened?”

 

What is that supposed to mean?!

Two Chalkboards, A Refashion, And a Toddler Sleeping On a Ball

First of all, where do I sign up to get a blog award for best titles? Because I mean, I'm a shoe-in. Does anyone still say that? I get asked that all the time. Not where to sign up for blog awards, I mean - if anyone still says that. I have sixtybillion words and phrases and they all drive people crazy. It's good being me.



Okay, so I would have had some sort of step-by-step dohickey for the smaller chalkboard. But somebody who I will not name because she is too young to be legally held responsible for her actions anyways put my memory card in a vent in my computer and I didn't find it until just today. The same person who hid my cellphone for four days. Just sayin.

I had these two little coffeehouse-style plaques since forever, but my husband only liked the red one. So I taped off the border so we'd still have matchies, and then I gave it a good bath in chalkboard spraypaint. Now it's the daily special board! Ha. I kill myself. THE DAILY SPECIAL IS WHATS ON YOUR PLATE. Or it's a boot in the pants. Those are your choices. You're welcome.

This is the artist formerly known as Mens Shirt. I need to add straps and some lining to it yet, because the fact that you can see my ENTIRE BRA (the fact that it's really cute despite being a white bra totally withstanding) is not my cup of tea. (Now, if we skip the tea and head straight for the girly drinks... )

I would like to have it duly noted that the mirror was spotless until I took out the camera. RIGHT when I was pushing the button, and invisible gremlin smudged it. True story. Probably. The gremlin is also the one who decorated my bathroom, I think. Tres Ew. Good thing you can't really see the bathroom.

We'll finish off with a giggle. Is it not just amazing how kids can do this? She likes to roll around on a ball like it's an excercise ball. Also, she's been resisting bed and nap times lately. This was about two hours after she was supposed to go down for a nap and wouldn't go to sleep. Bahahaha. Saving this one for the wedding slideshow someday. And to pull out when boyfriends come over.

I do what I can.