A Miracle for Maverick

If you’ve been following my blog for a long time you may recognize Rachel and Dave and their older two boys (circa 2011.) They’ve popped up in photos on the blog a few times in the past. They’re some of our oldest and dearest friends. Rachel and I attended school together, Chris and Dave attended a different school together, and we all go way, way back. Colten and Nicole were born 5 days apart, Olivia and Brody are 9 months apart, and Jackson and Maverick are about a year apart.

Meet Maverick.
(photo credit for Maverick’s photos are K Wolfe’s Voluntography)

Rachel had by all accounts a relatively normal pregnancy. There was no sense of urgency or unwell, and when we put off plans to hang out one last time pre-baby because she’d had a busy day and was tired, I casually mentioned I’d be there to soak up my baby snuggles in no time. Sure enough, soon we got a text message announcing the birth of little Maverick. I was delighted and lost no time shopping for baby gifts, even excitedly buying matching little beach shirts for Jackson and Maverick like the enormous dork that I am.

Not long after, we received word that due to concerns about his O2 levels, he was being transferred from the small hospital where he was born to our local hospital. Nobody was too particularly worried yet. Chris went out that night to go visit Rachel and Dave, since we couldn’t go see Maverick until he got out of the NICU and somebody had to stay home with our own kids. He wound up going out for drinks with Dave. I was annoyed when he confessed when he got home that he had completely forgotten to give Rachel the baby gifts and care package of non-hospital-food.

Then the world shifted.

We received word the next morning that Maverick had been airlifted to the Stollery in Edmonton. We were confused, shocked, and unsure how to deal with going about our day to day lives while our friends sat by waiting to find out if their infant son would live through the next day, sometimes even the next hour. It felt so wrong to live a normal life while they couldn’t, and there was nothing we could really do to help. My phone lit up with questions I had very few answers for, as we all sat by anxiously waiting, teetering on the edge of grief. Many of us tried to find little ways to try fill the need to do something, anything to help, knowing it was just a poor substitute for what we really wanted to be able to do. And we prayed, all of us, all the time.

Maverick did live through hour after hour, day after day, baffling doctors and winning the hearts of the medical staff, not to mention hundreds of people across Canada and beyond. Four months later, he isn’t out of the woods yet, but he’s no longer in a place where the next few hours are continually critical. He’s had ups and some really serious downs, and his battle isn’t nearly done, but he’s still here.

Here’s the story of Maverick’s journey so far.

Artists and authors across North and South America come together using their talents and gifts to help families with children battling against heart disease. Heart Disease is the lead cause of infant death and is devastating to those families who go through it. An Auction will be held October 14th -21st 2013 in honor of Maverick.

Currently he still resides in the Cardio Vascular Intensive Care Unit in the Stollery Childrens Hospital in Edmonton Alberta. June 7th, 2013 Maverick was born a healthy 8lb 9 ounces. Everything was perfect except for his heart. He was immediately rushed from Manitoba to Edmonton's Stollery Hospital. He then underwent extensive planning for a long 9 hour open heart surgery on June 14th, 2013. The 5 major complications with his heart were: Double Outlet Right Ventricle, Narrowing of the Aorta, Coarctation of the Aorta, Atrial Septal Defect, Ventricular Septal Defect, left and right Coronary Artery complications.
The open heart surgery they thought went well until the following day when to our horror Maverick went into cardiac arrest & his heart stopped for 43 minutes. The amazing doctors at the Children’s Stollery hospital of Alberta got him back, and put him on life support.

From there Maverick was on life support for 33 days. His parents were told endless times that he would likely not make it and not come home, that he only had a 5% chance of surviving.

Maverick continued to fight massive organ failure due to being on life support for so long. The doctors, surgeons & other medical personnel took David and Rachel in a meeting to discuss either bridging him through life support to heart transplant or taking him off life support in which they did not think he would make it. In that powerful meeting Rachel said from the beginning Dave had always said 'boy, we've come here to fix your heart, your gonna use what you've been given.' They could see that the life support was killing him. That he would not even be eligible for a transplant due to massive organ failure. In that meeting Rachel continued on their behalf... 'We’ve always hoped for him to use his own heart, we have to give him that chance and take him off the life support. From there... we will hope and pray for a miracle!!'

From there Maverick went through a multitude of other battles, taking everyone he knew and loved on an enormous roller coaster.

To give you a glimpse into his journey, his mom wrote this poem

They said, the surgery is long and risky.
we prayed for a miracle.
They said, the infection is bad, he will not make it.
we prayed for a miracle.
They said, he will not come off the VAD
we prayed for a miracle.
They said, his kidneys will not recover
we prayed for a miracle.
There were a billion other times~
we prayed for a miracle.
They said, ‘he’s surprising us all!'
we said ' a whole army of host’s is a prayin’ for a miracle'.
Now here he is after,
13 surgeries,
over 200 units of blood
2 Cardiac arrests
1 crushed lung
1 enlarged liver
massive internal bleeding
right atrium haemorrhage
3 sepsis infections
1 amputation
1 heartbroken mommy
and a million other tests, scans, & things
~ our baby ~
a fighter
has surely shown them to be our little miracle.

There hasn’t been much I could do for my dear friends. But now I have an opportunity to help out a little bit more and if you’d like, so can you. Emily Wierenga is putting together a charity auction called A Miracle For Maverick. From October 14-21st, an online auction will be held thanks to the generosity of Christian artists and bloggers across the United States and Canada in honour of heart families. All proceeds will go directly to Rachel and Dave Vanderzwaag to help their family and others continue the fight. A portion of the proceeds will go to the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit, the world renowned heart care program set up by Dr. David Ross and Dr. Ivan Rebeyka, and to other organizations that will directly help families struggling with CHD.

And of course, your prayers are always coveted.

Currently, Rachel and the boys are living in Edmonton. Colten is enrolled in school there and he and Brody are being cared for by family (what a blessing!) while Rachel is busy with Maverick. Dave works in Winnipeg and he flies back and forth to work and to be with his family. It’s very hard, but with the support of family, friends, the communion of saints, and most of all our Father in Heaven, they are making it through one day at a time.

You can donate, or bid on the items from the Auction, beginning October 14th, by visiting the blog of Emily Wierenga at www.emilywierenga.com. For more information, please e-mail wierenga.emily@gmail.com. Thank you.

If you’d like to donate something to auction, send Emily an email. A photo and description of auction items needs to go to Emily as soon as possible, if you have something you’d like to contribute. Auction goes live October 14.

If you’d like to help spread the word about the auction, leave me a comment and I’ll give you a write-up. I’ll also have something to post around on Instagram and similar social media the week of the auction itself.

Blue-eyed beauties 3-2-1

I wish I could say I’ve been busy slaying dragons and conquering new skills, but no. Mostly just housework, hanging with the littles, and reorganizing my house. Actually, we shall restate that first bit. I have slain a dragon. Our playroom. I have completely reorganized it into an entirely unbeautiful and very functional toy storage system a la Rubbermaid, that makes it way easier for the kids to spend five minutes cleaning up. Instead of me spending two hours reorganizing every toy into it’s special spot, I have a bunch of buckets that are either by theme or by type, and they get one at a time, and if they want another they throw everything back in the Rubbermaid first. Pinworthy and beautiful? Not particularly. Functional? Absolutely.

I’ve also been working on skills, actually. Firstly, on my houseworking skills. Let’s be real here – it does not come to me naturally. If I strike you as the homemaker type, I apologize. In reality, I am the artsy fartsy type, and if I leave myself in my natural state I tend to sit up every so often and wonder what the heck happened. I’m forcing myself to create new habits and routines and so far I’m doing pretty well. I mean, two steps forward and one back – I have a toddler and a baby after all.

Secondly, I’m giving running another go. It’s actually just happenstance that I took it up in the New Year. That’s just when my husband and I came to the conclusion that going to the gym was not fitting in particularly well in this season of my life. Jackson has been clingy off and on, and my husband struggles with him when I’m gone, and that’s stressful for everyone involved. So in lieu of not having a whole gym available we opted for a second hand treadmill. I’m nearly done my second week of it and I’m getting stronger, faster, and yes, losing weight as well. But mostly I’m feeling more energetic, which is really helping with that housework skills thing… especially since I’ve got less sleep lately than I ever got when Jackson was a newborn. C’est la vie, and this baby season is long days and short years, and all the snuggles and laughter are totally worth the lack of sleep.

However, I have resolved to do or create something every day, even if it’s just a photograph. So, on a particularly crazy day, I pulled out my dslr and took pictures of my crazies. Then I edited them another day. Every day a little bit of something! Running and creating even just little bits, that’s what’s keeping me in a happy, healthy place (mentally and physically) this cold cold winter.

How about you? How do you keep in the happy healthy zone?

Sour Soother Valentine

I thought I’d share the cute little Valentines we made for Nicole’s preschool class, and the printable we created for them. Kind of last minute, but if you want to use them you still have time!

I thought I had cardstock but I was wrong, so we wound up just printing these on regular printer paper. The front is a pale pink heart (made of many hearts) with the words It’s hard to be SOUR around you, Valentine! and the back features a funny little kissy face and plenty of space to write who the Valentine is for and who it’s from, and we also added a foamy sticker to each one. The heart and kissy face were both graphics that come loaded in Adobe Elements 10.

We took Jumbo-sized sour soother candies that we picked up at Costco and put one (but could have easily fit two) in a 6 x 3.75 treat bag. If you’re worried about the elements, the top of the bag can be sealed off with a curling iron, but we’re giving them out today so we just cut out the four Valentine’s from each page, folded in the center, and then after filling in the back, stapled them onto the bags.

You can click on the above graphic to get the full-sized sheet. When printing, be sure to deselect ‘fit picture to frame’ or whatever similar option changes the sizing of the graphic to fit the paper, this should fit your typical printer paper without adjustment and will be way easier to cut that way. (I got my hubby to print it off for me and forgot to mention that, and it’s possible but way more fidgety and your Valentine’s will be inconsistent sizes)

I love how you love her

Today I got my first real, big, squeeze-you-hard-around-the-neck hug from Olivia. It melted me down to my toes, one of those moments where you just fall further in love with your child even though you thought you’d already fallen about as far as a person could. When I went and took her out of bed after her morning nap, she wrapped those little arms around my neck and didn’t let go for several heart-bursting minutes.

This was, however, not her first hug. Nor was it her second, or even her third. No, she had been handing out fierce, adoring little hugs for a few days already now. To whom, you wonder? Well, Nicole of course.

I’ve said it before and I truly hope I’ll say it again, my favourite thing about my girls is how fierce their love and loyalty for each other is. At a few weeks old, after charming us all by choosing to smile instead of ‘root’ every time you stroked her cheek, Olivia made eye contact with Nicole for a few moments and cracked a great big smile. The next few smiles were reserved for her as well, and then eventually she spared some for the rest of us.

And naturally, when she started doling out great big slobbery baby-kisses, all open-mouthed and mildly disgusting, the first few batches went to Nicole. (And Chris has still received but a few; she follows him around the house with adoring eyes, but is not inclined to kiss that prickly face.)

And so it stands to reason that Nicole would get the first hugs, as well. It’s not as if she hasn’t earned them. She’s doled out more than her fair share over the last ten months. I can’t even really feel jealous, my heart is just so full when I watch them loving on each other.

Now, don’t be fooled into thinking life is all peace, harmony and slobberkisses between these two. Nicole occasionally gets frustrated and hides from Olivia… when she remembers that that’s how we are supposed to deal with it. She’s just as prone to push her away or screech out, “O-LIVE-EE-YAAAAHHHH!!!!” Olivia, being feisty and determined, sometimes accepts this challenge. With a shrill of excitement, she stalks and hunts Nicole, jumping on her and pulling her hair with delight. Sometimes this evolves into giggles and games. Others, not so much. As time has gone on, Nicole’s knee-jerk reaction to Olivia crying has gone from gentle shushing (as in the below picture) to hollering ‘It wasn’t me!’ (even finding it necessary to shout from across the house and when far away from each other) or even just flat-out ignoring it.

However, Nicole still runs into their room when Olivia can be heard waking up. Sometimes she sneaks into the crib to play, and I pretend not to notice for a few minutes. Or if Olivia is the first to wake, she has been known to either smack Nicole in the face, if she’s been freed from the crib, or just yell in Nicole’s direction until her big sister awakens. Nicole is rather notorious for being a wretched beast if anyone wakes her up, more akin to something you’d expect to have found deep in the jungle than under a bubblegum pink comforter, but Olivia somehow gets a pass.

I don’t know whether or not we will be blessed with more children. It would be nice, but I don’t think I’ll even pray for it; I’ll be too busy giving thanks for these full hands and this full heart.

(I don’t always feel so grateful for those full hands; just watch me try to load the dishwasher when Olivia is on the lam and you’ll note that ‘thankful’ doesn’t come to mind when trying to describe my demeanour)

Two little girls who love each other deeply, with hands that pat and hug more often than they push and shove. Mouths that smile and kiss and giggle far more often than they frown and shout and cry. I pray that my heart dwells on these important things more than petty little things like what people are saying about me, or not saying, or whether I’ve folded all the laundry, or where on EARTH I put my mop pads. (If seen, please return them to my floor; their absence is getting quite noticeable) 

Daddy Salute–Dad Life

Thanks to Welcome to the gOOd life for sharing this, my husband and I can’t stop chuckling about and/or singing random lines from this. 

My little Olivia is seven months old today! Every time I get a BabyCenter email I get a good chuckle. Today I will share an excerpt from Seven Months Old, First Week.

Has your baby turned into a bouncing machine? YES. This game is fun for him now if he can support his weight on his legs. She’s walking around furniture, so I think she’s got it covered, yeah. What's more, he can probably sit unsupported, which will free his hands for exploring. Insert maniacal laughter with a hint of desperation here. Yup, her hands are freely exploring all right. At this age he'll also probably start reaching for things and scooping them up with one hand. Like dog food. Or the electrical sockets you never got around to unbabyproofing from Nicole; score one for laziness. You can encourage his independence and new skills by placing a toy just out of his reach. I do that! Except switch ‘toy’ for ‘my crap’ and ‘encourage’ for ‘scold and threaten and get laughed at by my remorseless baby.’

She got a fifth tooth, by the way. One of her outer bottom teeth. We had a little chuckle at her expense; she’s going to look like a vampire forever. Those upper middle teeth have shown no intention of showing up any time soon.

It’s nice to laugh at your kids when they’re too young to need therapy for it later.

Unrequited Love

No words required as long as you play this as background music.

and then the sad ending….

Cake, sad, lonely, and alone in the dark.

lol. Okay, the cake left and was eaten, by neither Nicole nor myself. Construction husbands are prone to leave you high and dry in summertime at the last minute, but the cake made it there and I understand, so I wasn’t upset. Plus when I make a cake it takes hours and then I get anxiety in the final hour and hate it, and this one in particular was very ‘wing-it’-ed, all I knew for this bridal shower was the wedding colors, (and I only have the primary colors so this was pretty ehehe, I hope this works) and I couldn’t ask the bride to be since it was a surprise, so I was okay with not being there in case everyone was like, “Niiiiiiiice caaaaaaake….” *awkward silence* But the bride-to-be, who is marrying my cousin, said she loved it and it was delicious, so I’ll take it that Nicole’s unrequired love and extreme self-control were not in vain. (she only touched it once, and it was so gentle she didn’t leave a mark, not bad for a three-nearly-four-year-old who has to watch a cake get made off and on all day)

If anyone feels the need to tell me the cake is an offense to nature because the buttercream is not smooth, I know. It wouldn’t smooth. I don’t know what happened to the buttercream. Apparently making buttercream frosting is absolutely nothing like riding a bicycle. Now don’t I feel silly for wearing that helmet.

Don’t feel too badly for Nicole, she got the cake tops, iced generously with flowers and her favourite letter. (N, of course)

Every once in a while I remember about this thing and ask you to click it. Today’s the lucky day!

KCWC summary + Rufflicious Skirt Debut

Okay, so my kids have been tag teaming this whole getting sick/being miserable thing. I’m all about nurturing, nurture cuddle nuture, that’s me. But I wish they could just get it together and both be sick at the same time. Then I could lie about in bed with them both and listen to them moan and groan and make soothing noises back and them, and then slip off to Get Stuff Done when they both drift off to sleep. But no, one kid gets sick and gives it to the other kid and then that kid gets another thing while their immunity is down and gives THAT to the first kid… you know how it is. Anyways, I’ve moaned on about me being sick or them being sick for I dunno, a month now, off and on. It’s been grand. I’m sure you’re as sick of us being sick as we are. ITS SUMMER WEATHER OUTSIDE. I think it will all go away soon.

ON TO KCWC. My goal was to complete a sister set for my girls and at least one other thing. I completed the sister set (okay so the skirt was finished a day late and a dollar short) and called it good.

Olivia:

I want to do surgery on this yet. My calculations were a bit off and I did some past-midnight-sewing, as I mentioned, so there are some oopsies. Also my first applique attempt in a long time, it was kind of poor, to put it mildly, but oh well. I hope to put a waistband over the waist part and bring it in a bit, it’s a bit loose thankfully so I can afford to do that, and hopefully that will fix the ‘situation’ at least a bit.

Nicole’s outfit… well, I could just put it on her and then go skipping through a field of daisies with joy. Heck, I could skip through my yard full of dandelions with joy. LOVE. IT. I learned from my mistakes (look ma! Finally! It took 24 years but darnit, I’ve started learning from my mistakes!) and moved on to victory.

As long as you don’t examine Olivia’s too closely it still looks pretty cute. She’ll wear it. They’ll wear it together and Nicole will be pleased. Every day she says, “I want to match Olivia!” See, it’s not just me enforcing a rein of terror upon my children. THEY WANT TO MATCH. Well, the baby has no say, but whatever. She’s happy if she can chew a ruffle, so we’re golden.

left: Um, yeah, applique… suuuuuuper. Homemade? right: Nicely done! Still room for improvement, but definite learning curve. Handmade!

left: homemade, definitely homemade. It looks like the dog ate it, but really I just had a bit of a learning curve with the serger. right: yaaay! There’s still a few wonky spots on the skirt but I definitely have if not mastered then at least intermediate-ed the rolled hem stitch on my serger.

Dreamy sigh. I call this the Rufflicious Skirt. At first I called it Rufflemania but discarded that promptly because in my excitement I named it like it was wrestling related or something. No. Rufflicious it is. I’m going to grade it and make a pattern of sorts (it’s going to be diagrams and not printable pattern pieces, because it is a series of rectangles.) I’m trying to decide if I’ll do a tutorial or a .pdf for sale. If I do a pdf it will be size 6mos to 4/5, most likely. A tutorial I will do size 4/5 and size 6mos because I already did the 4/5 and I’m going to do the 6mos anyways. What say you? If you say paid pattern, how much would you be willing to pay? I’m thinking like $6.99CAD or something?

Look guys, look how yummy. LOOK. I didn’t pose this, she sat down to play Princess Dress Up on my ipod and the skirt did this on it’s own. I love it so bad. SO. BAD. It’s a little hefty but she loves it, seems comfortable, and the fact that the tiers are rufflier as they go along makes it so the middle tier holds in the bottom tier in such a fashion that I haven’t seen her panties ONCE today, despite no leggings. That is major, folks. She acts like a little lady sometimes but she rarely sits like one. (gets it from her mama, unfortunately. Sorry ma, I learned from my mistakes but I still sit like a boy.)

Sisterly Love videos

My apologies to those who can’t or won’t watch videos. Also to those who are really annoyed when parents who are overly impressed with their offspring post a two minute video to captures something cute that could probably be summed up with a 30 second edit. MY BAD.
(Ps, the two minutes of your cat hiding in a paper bag is just as bad as my two minutes of fart noises or whatever. Which neither of those videos is, so my apologies if you got excited about that idea.)

First video: RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING. Nicole is one of those kids who Likes To Run. Our living area is arranged in such a way that she has a track to run around. The course is around the coffee table and kitchen table. Olivia finds this fascinating/hilarious. I missed the first part when she was the most excited, where she was actually hyperventilating and her own little legs were motoring like mad (oh please no, don’t even think of it, girlie.)
I apologise for the messy house. Just kidding, no I don’t, it’s Saturday morning. Also you might want to turn your audio down because for some reason my camera has a really sensitive mic and Nicole does a REALLY shrieky laugh at one point.

The second video… KISSES. I know, you’re welcome, I did realize you were hoping I’d post some dreadfully entertaining video of how Olivia likes to excitedly give slobbery open-mouth baby-kisses to Nicole and only Nicole. What can I say, I know what the people what.

There’s definitely a special bond between these two girlies and it gives me glee. You see, when you’re pregnant you have all these idealistic mental pictures of your near future. Like, white fluffy blankets, cooing babies, cuddles, baby smell, yourself gently and lovingly smiling down on your two darling daughters. Just as an example.

Not, you know… mountains of poop-stained laundry, overstimulated babies screaming at 3:51am, being climbed all over by one slightly jealous kid while the baby grabs a fistful of hair from that spot at the nape of your neck, spit up smell, and yourself shrieking, “WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!?!” with a baby under one arm, six million bags under your eyes, and a guilty-looking three year old trying to hide the evidence of What She Did. Just as an example.

However, one idealistic daydream that did dance around in my head was my girls lighting up with grins when they catch each other’s eye, and having a special little sisterly/sibling bond. That seems to be coming true. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a definite lack of perfection to the reality, but it still makes me melt.

cos I’m five years old

If you don’t check out this awesome and adorable tutorial by Samster Mommy I am pretty sure we can’t be friends anymore.

And I mean I’m super cranky today because at 2am I was still up with my three week old and my three year old was hollering at me that she can’t sleep when Olivia is crying, and also that she can’t sleep without her dreams. I’ll let you puzzle that one out. I know some people go to bed at 2am on the regular but I am totally not one of those people, I need normal sleep to not be a complete bear. Which roughly translates to mean that I’m a real treasure lately, what with the new baby and all. I look super awesome too. I’d post a picture but I don’t want to break the internet. Oddly enough it’s just my face that’s like ‘WOAH PUT IT AWAY!!!!’ … my body totally snapped back from baby#2 infinitely better than baby#1. Like, no skinflap or anything. I know, I’m delicious to talk to. I’m not wearing deodorant or pants without a drawstring, either, wanna come over for coffee?

I bet my ‘can’t be friends anymore’ threat is pretty scary.

(random pretty-baby picture to soften the blow of reading my crazed posts lately)

NOMNOMNOM

Mmmm, delicious! A little gift from the fabric fairy! And by ‘gift’ I mean ‘purchased with monies from fabricworm.com’ and by ‘fabric fairy’ I mean my mailman. If you’d seen my mailman, you would now have a hilarious mental picture of a medium-chubbyish man with a stubbly face hair like that big guy from Lost but blonder and a looser curl, wearing his mailman uniform with a pink fluffy tutu and holding a sparkly pink wand. I think I should write a suggestion letter to Canada Post, that would be a pretty awesome uniform update. Obviously my favourite is this print right here. Heart heart heart heart heart. Time seven. I’ll use up every precious bit, because when it’s been cut into so much I can’t use it anymore I will cut out all the squares that are still whole and use them for appliques and patches. THIS IS LOVE, PEOPLE. And it better be at what a meter of this sucker cost me. I do NOT normally pay that much for fabric. Or wait, a yard? Whatever. I appear to be incapable of buying in halfs like normal people. I always have to get the whole meter. Or yard. Or whatever.

I maybe have another package from fabricworm in the mail. BUT I GOT AN EMAIL. THERE WAS A SALE ON ALEXANDER HENRY FABRICS. Besides, everything I get in the mail these days is like, cloth diapers or onesies or glass bottles or change tables or breast pumps. (Hi, creepy guy from Google Search who is very confused by pictures of fabric that are clearly not related to breasts.) All those things are fun and/or cute (except the last one, which is really neither) but it’s nice to get something that’s just for my hoarde-y little self but you know, everything I make with this stuff is probably going to be for Nicole or Baby V anyways, give give give, that’s me. Selfless.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

Chris and I have been together since April 04, married since August ‘06. We were blessed with our little girl Nicole, who we like to call our little wedding gift from God. See, we weren’t really ‘supposed’ to have kids. But October 06, just two months after we got married, I got pregnant! Surprise! What do doctors know, anyways! They aren’t the One who hands out babies, anywho.

Every Valentine’s day Chris likes to get a little something for Nicole and a little something for me. It’s always just a little trinket, some chocolates or candy, just saying ‘I’m thinking of you.’ Very sweet. This year he got me a candle, since we both love to have candles burning.
What I got him… well, let’s just say he got me a little something to say he’s thinking of me, and I got him a little something to make SURE he’s thinking of me. A la Victoria’s Secret. ooh la la

I’m married though so I’m not naughty, I’m rather quite dutiful and well-behooved. The very picture of well-behoovedness.

Speaking of being oblivious (what, is that not a good segue? Aw, poopsicles. I tried.) My sister and I were grocery shopping last night. I got out of the car and was fixing my oh-so-cute hat (I didn’t make the hat, so I’m still modest) and staring off into the distance. Lost in space, as we like to say. Pondering things like shopping carts or something, no doubt. Deep, meaningful thoughts. Anyways, I kindof half-noticed two guys walking past us. Didn’t notice them at all, really, until the one guy went, “Stop staring!” and they both started laughing. Then I turned to look, but they were already past, I just saw the back of their (scruffy looking) heads. I was kind of puzzled, trying to figure out what they were staring at, and my sister walked over to me and was like, “Well, that was kind of creepy. That guy wasn’t even staring at you, he was gaping.” Now, I really wish I hadn’t missed it, because I’d be curious to see what constitutes gaping, but apparently he was staring straight on in a very not-subtle way, and smiling at me like he knew me or something.  However, I’ve become convinced that one of two things is true. Either,

a) There are a lot of chicks out there who look like me, because I often hear that I look just like somebody’s ex, or their cousin’s ex, or whatever. Or, possibly,

b) There is a chick around that looks like me, and girlfriend gets around.

Regardless, this is kind of bugging me, because whenever somebody is staring at me I always want to go up to them and ask them why. I never do, I am super not that person who just talks to random people. But it always buggity bug bugs me for days afterwards. Girl, guy, doesn’t matter. I neeeeeed to know, what for are you staring?

What’s the weirdest staring-type or hitting-on story you’ve got? Mine is when some guy was hitting on me in line at Baskin Robbins and when I got my stuff and turned to leave he suddenly noticed i was HOSHIT EXTREMELY PREGNANT and literally, his face dropped and he walked away without ordering anything he was so embarrassed. But it gave me the giggles and made me feel great because I looked like I was ready to give birth but apparently you couldn’t tell from behind.

Cup of Sugar

I just couldn't go to bed without sharing this cup of sugar with you. I tried, I even closed the window. But then my desktop background, which is that black and white shot above, made my eyes soften and my mouth turn up at the corners.

What can I say - I adore this child. We had the hardest time putting her to bed tonight. But ah, who cares. A few extra minutes stolen from these quick first few years.

Right now, the sun rises and sets at my command, as far as she's got it figured. (The sun being slightly more obediant than some, apparently.)

Right now, I slip on my sunday dress and she flounces into the room, pets it reverently, and gushes on in her two-year-old nearly-english about how pretty I look.

Right now, I serve her a bowl of sunday soup, and she pauses between each slurp to hum 'mmmmm, nummy nummy nummy' to herself and to me.

She prances. She poses. She's starting to grow an imagination - yesterday she was telling me that she was in the middle of a game of hide and go seek with grandma and a monkey. (the monkey thing might need more explaination, but another day.)

I love her so much, and that love grows with her every day. But boy, I think I'll cling onto a few more moments. Let a few more bedtimes slip by unnoticed. She's supposed to be my little baby, but as you all can clearly see, this is a little girl. A funky, spunky, funny, charming little girl. And I'd love to keep her all to myself, but I think I'll share her, just a little. Just a cup of sugar.