Soother Leash Hack

Here I am out of the blue with possibly the lamest post in the history of ever, but someone commented the other day on my quick fix for Dash's soother. I had purchased a few styles of soothers to figure out what he preferred, and I had also picked up some soother leashes that were supposed to be universal. Unfortunately when he settled on his favs and I went to attach them to the universal soother leash, the attached plastic bit didn't fit onto the soother! I was on the run out the door and didn't have time for shenanigans, and so I just took the hairband off my wrist and used that. It worked great - especially with the thicker elastic, it fits snugly and has never given me any problems. I know this is totally not some dramatic problem, mothers all over the continent rolling about in anguish because the soother leash they bought didn't work out, but hey. I figure if it saves another person or two from tossing some cute soother leashes in the back of the drawer to (never) return or loosing precious soothers (WHERE ARE THEY?! WHERE DID THEY ALL GO? BABIES ARE NOT EXACTLY WALKING OFF AND SHOVING THEM DOWN REGISTER VENTS!) then yay.

 

And for the record, my laptop has been busted for ages, and not even taping it is helping, and my software is not on my hubby's computer. Since I was busy with a new baby, I wasn't in too much of a hurry to get a new computer and go through the long and dramatic getting-to-know-you phase that entails. But soon, my loves, soon! Meanwhile you can get lots of doses of my delicious fatty fat baby and my exciting (that's a nice word for WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE) older children on Instagram!

Because the world needed another home video of a laughing baby

Babies are adorable so that we adore them even when they won't nap for more than 15 minutes at a time so they're so overtired they are alternately laughing and screaming.
It's science.
 
Jackson, 4 months. Naps = broken. At least he still sleeps through the night.

I don’t actually sound like that, that is my talking-to-baby-voice. Thanks to the magic of voice messaging thanks to my husband and smartphones if I’ve learned anything this year, it’s how annoying my own voice is and what a blessing it is that anyone can stand to talk to me in person at all.

Oh, I’m sorry, did you think you’d get crochet videos?

NO CROCHET FOR YOU

You guys. The month I’ve had. Credit card theft, three tooth extractions, chicken pox, a mysterious malady for Olivia that we will call Grumpy Sad Baby Sleeps All Day And Cries All Night (I don’t know why they don’t call me to name diseases) and all sorts of other stuff. I begin to suspect I have bad karma for not doing anything I’ve sworn I’d do. Except I don’t believe in karma, and besides, I hear the world is ending tomorrow anyways, so who cares? I think you should fill your last moments with these videos. Scattered among My Kids Are Cute And I Can And Do Watch Them All Day And So Should You videos I have something somewhat useful, a little tip on topstitching straight. Don’t ask why I’m topstitching on top of the ruffle side, there’s a good reason and it was on purpose and technically it didn’t need to be perfectly straight but I have issues/OCD/issues.

Its highly possible that everyone but me was already doing this and I’m just really late to the party. BUT I WAS PRETTY DANG PROUD OF MY OWN GOOD SELF when I finally figured this one out. Please excuse that I cannot think and talk at the same time. Too hard.

 

lololol messy house whatwhaaat. Nicole likes to put her blanket and pillow on the couch. Every day. We don’t know why.

 

We No Speak Oliviano. If you’ve heard this song, it’s like BOP BOP AMERICANO and that’s about it. We adapt it for Olivia and she dances on demand. She can’t help it. Deadpan always turns into smiles and flails. (edit: OK so after I published this post I played the videos and she’s beside me in the excersaucer and she started dancing and flailing to it. Works every time. lol.)

 

We will call this the Babycam. This is what happens when I wear Olivia. I wear Olivia to prevent destruction of my home and sanity, although she’s getting pretty good about being in the pack and play. Playpen. Babycage. Whatever you want to call it.

I’m getting help soon. No, not that kind. The kind where somebody watches my kids for a bit while I get some stuff done, like listing a kazillion things on etsy and making crochet videos.

I enlist your help now, yes? I got my free ipod touch from reward miles (YAY I LOVE IT. My blackberry feels like its vintage and/or obsolete in comparison) and I have this playlist called Kids and it’s mostly Little Peoples music which is ok sometimes but not all the times. I have another playlist called Oh Happy Day which is adult songs that are ok for kids. Like no “DAMN YOU A SEXY CHIIIICK”, comprendez? I would love to hear suggestions of songs that are upbeat and nonsexual! There can be like references to going back to my place or whatever, but nothing I’d be mortified for my kid to sing. Because she was all like “When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change, because you’re amaaaaazing, just the way you are!” and I was like awww and then she was like “RAAA MAA RA-HA-HAAA-AAAAH, GAA GAA OOH LA LAAA-AAA” and then we started listening to Little Peoples all the time.

Intro to Crochet Bootcamp video series

First of all, I bet you $5 that I say ‘blathering idiot’ more times in this video than you have all week. Don’t forget, I do accept paypal.

Note: I now have a cutesy name. And button. Tadaa!

If you’d like to start a specific project right off with the lessons as reference, you’ll want to start off with whatever hook and yarn the project recommends. For a first project, I recommend starting something that calls for a hook no smaller than 4.5mm. You can find crochet hooks tons of places, including Wal to the Mart. Also, I recommend starting with either a cotton, a bamboo, or an acrylic with a ‘satin’ feel to it. Anything that says ‘satin’ on the label is likely to be easier to work with. Don’t start with anything textured, and don’t start with a blanket. Go for something small, something that screams ‘instant gratification’. A little baby hat can be worked up in a matter of hours, even if you have to pull half of it out three times for mistakes. Trust me on this one.

The best 30 seconds of your life

I am relatively certain this random video of my kids laughing at literally nothing will be the best thirty seconds of your life. Or your day. Or at least the last minute.

I know, again with the videos. I like to spend ages 3mos to 2 years making videos of every ridiculous thing my kid does and sharing it with everyone. After that the ridiculous things get naughty and I stop making videos because I don’t seem like an awesome mom when I’m yelling “WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT TOILET BRUSH?! DID YOU…. UGH!!! AUGH! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!"”

Sisterly Love videos

My apologies to those who can’t or won’t watch videos. Also to those who are really annoyed when parents who are overly impressed with their offspring post a two minute video to captures something cute that could probably be summed up with a 30 second edit. MY BAD.
(Ps, the two minutes of your cat hiding in a paper bag is just as bad as my two minutes of fart noises or whatever. Which neither of those videos is, so my apologies if you got excited about that idea.)

First video: RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING. Nicole is one of those kids who Likes To Run. Our living area is arranged in such a way that she has a track to run around. The course is around the coffee table and kitchen table. Olivia finds this fascinating/hilarious. I missed the first part when she was the most excited, where she was actually hyperventilating and her own little legs were motoring like mad (oh please no, don’t even think of it, girlie.)
I apologise for the messy house. Just kidding, no I don’t, it’s Saturday morning. Also you might want to turn your audio down because for some reason my camera has a really sensitive mic and Nicole does a REALLY shrieky laugh at one point.

The second video… KISSES. I know, you’re welcome, I did realize you were hoping I’d post some dreadfully entertaining video of how Olivia likes to excitedly give slobbery open-mouth baby-kisses to Nicole and only Nicole. What can I say, I know what the people what.

There’s definitely a special bond between these two girlies and it gives me glee. You see, when you’re pregnant you have all these idealistic mental pictures of your near future. Like, white fluffy blankets, cooing babies, cuddles, baby smell, yourself gently and lovingly smiling down on your two darling daughters. Just as an example.

Not, you know… mountains of poop-stained laundry, overstimulated babies screaming at 3:51am, being climbed all over by one slightly jealous kid while the baby grabs a fistful of hair from that spot at the nape of your neck, spit up smell, and yourself shrieking, “WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!?!” with a baby under one arm, six million bags under your eyes, and a guilty-looking three year old trying to hide the evidence of What She Did. Just as an example.

However, one idealistic daydream that did dance around in my head was my girls lighting up with grins when they catch each other’s eye, and having a special little sisterly/sibling bond. That seems to be coming true. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a definite lack of perfection to the reality, but it still makes me melt.

My first how-to video – twist braid

A quick video demo of the 2-strand twist. Be gentle with me. LOL. Also please pretend you can’t see the open dishwasher and cupboard. Or the gnarliness of my hair! haha. sweeeeet.

Don’t forget to check out and enter the giveaway for the Leapfrog toy before January 20!

Hexacise is really fun!

She is not normally allowed to play with the elliptical, however when she hopped on it and started doing it right I decided to let it slide. It’s been around –40c lately (that is, snot-freezes-in-your-nostrils cold, for my friends who have never come up agianst this weather… ice cream headaches from walking five minutes to the grocery store… snaking your hand out of the door by itself to grab the mail… that kind of thing.) I figure, any hexacise is good hexacise, right? We won’t be outside without jackets again until, let’s face it, May if we’re lucky, June if we’re not.