the problem with coffee

No, wait, don’t leave; there is one. My husband and I say this All. The. Time. And by all the time I mean, every time one of us forgets to:

a) add water

b) empty the carafe first (its a thermos-style one, and generally emptied the day before, but sometimes you get lucky and wind up with 12 cups of coffee in an 8 cup carafe)

c) turn on the coffeemachine

d) all of the above. This hasn’t happened in one sitting, to my knowledge. YET.

I decided to make a silly little printable out of it, just for fun and mostly because I am very busy procrastinating right now. You can click the picture above to access a .pdf to download or print, if you so desire. The pdf doesn’t have my website on it. I figure if anyone wants this, I’ll give it with both hands.

You might be better off with a sticky note detailing the steps for making coffee, though.

Just to be braggy for a moment, a friend of mine dropped off a bottle of homemade wine for me today. It was a buck-up-buttercup present re: my crappy monday. My friends are the best! And yes, I did have a big glass before spending far too much time creating a printable about making coffee, why do you ask??

and then it goes downhill

First of all, I just want to put it out there, I’m really hungry right now. I’m really, really hungry and I should get up and make myself something to eat. But instead I’m sitting around blogging and thinking about how hungry I am. Why? I DONT KNOW. I guess there’s just nothing in the fridge calling my name, because we really need to do some groceries, and you like how I say “we” to make it sound like there is some other mysterious home executive in my house who is responsible for the fact that I’m sitting here thinking about how I am out of CoffeeMate Creamer and sandwich meat? I DONT WANT PEANUT BUTTER AND JAM. Now I know how my kid feels, I don’t want to eat anything when I don’t like the options, either. I should point out that I don’t want to put coffeemate and sandwich meat together into a meal. Add a few more key ingredients and I would have a numnum deli sandwich and a cup of coffee. Now I’m even hungrier and, quite frankly, I blame you. In entirety.

Now that I’ve decided it’s actually entirely your fault I’m hungry (don’t argue with me. Just apologize.) Here’s what happened when I was laying on the floor with my camera for no apparent reason yesterday. First, there was some awesome running. It has been noted by my sister in law that Nicole really jut likes to run in circles a lot. I can’t explain why, I don’t know. Those sweet leggings are tw*nkletw*nkle. For some reason she always wears them longer on one leg than the other. I don’t know. She’s only half mine, okay.She was also moving her recliner around and drymopping the floor. So I mean, like I said, half mine. You like that drymop? NORWEX. I also tricked my husband into using it yesterday by telling him if he extended it long he could do most of the livingroom without getting off the couch. I was right, AND my floor was clean. Win/win. But then… suddenly, after the peak, the floor cleaning, the beauty…. WHAT IS THIS?! Fridge-rummaging? WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?! She had decided she wanted a sippy of milk. This is the part where I turned off the camera and skidded into the kitchen, otherwise the story would have ended with a wet mop and something like 2 1/2 litres of milk on the floor. Instead it ended with a sippy of milk only following the magical phrase MILK PLEASE MOM and a little chat about how when we want something from the fridge we ASK and don’t just TAKE. I’m all for her eventually being self-sufficient but seriously, kid, two and a half years is not the point where you start menu planning.

Speaking of menu planning. I should go do that. So that “we” don’t spend the last day before grocery day grumpy about being out of everything that costs $3453453456billion more at the Safeway I can walk to than it does at every other grocery store.

Now that I think about it, peanut butter and jam sounds delicious.

No coffee, just Cheese Whiz.

It's Saturday morning, and I am menu planning THREE DAYS LATE. This has been a HECTIC week, even though I didn't necessarily get a lot done. Just very 24/7. My house looks pretty faboo, though... thanks, flylady! Anyways, I am menu planning while I get to drink this low-grade horrible awful nasty instant coffee. So I think I am writing coffee on the list like seven times. At least. How is it that I NEVER run out of cheese whiz, (nicole wants cheese whiz. She may say she wants jam, but if you give her jam she will say, "No jam! Want CHEESE!" Cheese Whiz is a staple in my house.) but when it comes to coffee this happens on the regular???!

Speaking of cheese whiz, it's on sale at safeway! O: I like the big jars, I wash them afterwards and store dry goods in them. I do plan on covering all the lids and making them cute at some point, no worries.

PS, I appear to have conquered my personal demons, aka either under or over-cooking cinnamon buns Every Single Time, Even From A Can. Contrary to what this picture might lead you to believe, it's actually not my fault these lasted less than 12 hours. Blame Chris for that.

5 Things You Can Do With A Small Girl

1. Have a princess tea party (strawberries and water)

2. Play with makeup (in an attempt to keep her on the potty)

3. Clean up the pee from the hall just outside the bathroom right after playing makeup while sitting on the potty for more than half an hour. (I decided to go with another makeup picture for that one.)

4. Have her 'over for coffee' (and by coffee I mean frothed milk and then pour in a smidge of coffee while making a big deal out of it) and a chat.

5. Make her a dress to dress her up for church in.

Just a Simplicity pattern, not my own invention. Instructions were a buttload of "whaaat????!" in two or three places, but I battled through them until they turned into engrish. Chris helped me with this, how cute is that? He pulled out the gathering stitches for me, and helped pin some godets in place while I started sewing the first few.

All in all the last few days have been fun. :) PS, I play golf like Happy Gilmore, rumour has it. Except it's like I am generally either the top of the scores or the bottom. It's more the haphazard WHACK. I do play with two hands. Listen, girlfriend plays hockey, not golf.